Thoughts
Here you will find articles on the five types of service I offer organisations and the people in them. These will hopefully give you a flavour of how I work and what inspires my approach. If you have any questions about these services please contact me.
Filters
- About Still Waters 7
- Accept Change 9
- Coach 7
- Consultant 4
- Dream Big 10
- Facilitator 6
- Help & Advice 5
- Make Small changes 10
- Mentor 3
- Mindset 9
- Personal Stories 11
- Principles 1
- Published Material 7
- Support Large Changes 7
- Teacher 3
- Tools 7
- climate crisis 1
- eco-coaching 1
- ramblings 16
- reflections 39
- resources 17
- reviews 29
- service 1
The Six Keys To Success
I’ve always been a bit resistant to lists of things. Perhaps as a child I was expressing anti-religious orthodoxy, but why not eleven commandments or six deadly sins? Who gets to decide something so definitive? Or later in life was I just playing devil’s advocate when I wondered what the eighth habit of highly effective people was and questioned how Stephen Covey could be so sure there were only seven? And so I am an unlikely candidate for advocating for six keys to success – but here I am doing just that.
Why Before How And How Before What
When I was setting up Still Waters it was all pretty chaotic in my head for a while. I spent several near-sleepless nights (why is it so much more chaotic at night?!) trying to work out the detail of what I was going to do when I remembered Simon Sinek’s ‘golden circle’ model. Focus first on “Why?”, then “How?”, and the “What?” will look after itself.
In Appreciation Of The Primal Wound
About ten years ago my coach at the time (the wonderful Wil Pennycook) tentatively offered me the idea that I have an unhealed wound deep within me. I accepted the suggestion and our work moved on, but it has only been since reading The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier that the significance of that tentative idea became apparent to me.
Climate Solutions 101
If you are looking for a powerful, easy to understand lesson on potential solutions to the climate change challenges we are facing then I would certainly try out this short series of videos from the good people of Project Drawdown.
A Promised Land Not Promised
I have just finished reading A Promised Land, Barack Obama’s first presidential memoir. Weighing in at a hefty 700 pages, it tells the story of his life before the presidency (in summary) and most of his first term (in detail). The presidential action starts in 2008 with the financial crisis and finishes with the killing of Osama Bin Laden in 2011. I am not reviewing the book here, but rather focusing on something right at the end that I found sad and confirmation, if any were needed, that the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible is not going to be delivered conventionally by the establishment, even when the most powerful leader on the planet is charismatic, progressive and on the side of a fairer, greener, more sustainable world.
Honouring My Work
It was with a large dose of curiosity, and a small pinch of trepidation, that I agreed to my friend and colleague Jeremy Keeley’s suggestion that we ‘honour my work’ in a recorded Zoom conversation. Below is the result of this, or you can click here. It was a strange experience, a bit self-indulgent, but I thought I’d share it because it covers a lot of the thinking behind Still Waters.
Adoption Therapy
I came across this book by chance and thought it was worth describing here. It is a collection of 16 essays written by clinical practitioners and their clients on the topic of processing and healing what they describe as ‘post adoption’ issues.
The Gift Economy
I was introduced to the Gift Economy while on a course in 2015. Brian Smyth, a wonderfully warm human being from Ireland told me how he had deployed it for his work. I was intrigued. Since then I have experienced it in action a few times and love the spirit of it and so have decided to offer it as part of Still Waters. But what exactly is the Gift Economy?
Journey Of The Adopted Self
This book, written by Betty Jean Lifton in 1994, focuses on three stages of the journey that adopted people take in “a quest for wholeness” – the subtitle of the book. It’s an unapologetically American study of the authors own experience of being adopted, along with a large amount of research. Despite its age and non-UK feel I would say it is well worth a read, mostly because what Lifton describes really resonated personally with my own journey.
Blood Is Thicker Than Water (1986)
“Obviously your mum can’t love you as much as mine loves me”. A simultaneous slap in the face and punch in the guts. One of my best friends had casually destroyed me. Too angry to think, I blurt out “Why do you say that?” “Because there’s no blood connection he simply replies as though it was the most obvious thing in the world”. Lost in fear and rage I ranted that he was talking bollocks. But the damage had been done.
Private Facebook Groups For Adoptees
On-line groups can provide support, advice and a sense of belonging and community. There are a number of private groups on Facebook the have been set up specifically to cater for the needs of adopted people. Facebook may not be to everyone’s liking but there is no doubting the benefit it can offer in terms of connecting people of similar experience, outlook or interests. Here I review the three groups I am currently a member of.
Nick Mabey - Professional Biography
I joined BT three months before privatisation as a fresh-faced 19-year old who had messed up academically and was in desperate need of structure. Starting out as a telecom officer in Southampton handling customer complaints, I loved the office environment, with the predictable hours and reliable work. There was plenty of personal and professional development opportunities, which I lapped up. Other memories include leading our response to a massive surge in billing complaints, using a PC for the first time and also going on strike for three weeks.
A New And Ancient Story
I have been a fan of Charles Eisenstein’s writing for a long time now and actually attended one of his courses at Schumacher College in 2015. I guess I would describe him as a thinker and a dreamer; someone who applies intellectual rigour to some pretty radical ideas. While I accept that he won’t be to everyone’s taste, his words resonate deeply with me. And so when I was invited to join his new on-line community, called A New And Ancient Story, I didn’t hesitate.
Joining The Green Party
Although it may not seem to have an immediate impact, one of the small changes you might consider is joining the Green Party. You can be a fully paid up member for around £10 per month. Membership means you get access to loads of useful information on the environmental movement (as well as all their other policy areas, such as social justice). You also get the chance to participate locally, vote on policy and people and go to their conference. And psychologically you get to feel like you are part of something that is part of the solution.
Inspiring Company - Sangha
My yoga teacher, Steve Harrison taught me about the six keys to success in the yogic tradition. The sixth of these is the Sanskrit/hindu word ‘sangha’, which he describes as ‘inspiring company’. I find Steve himself to be inspiring company in the wholehearted way he brings himself to teach. All of which got me to think about the people I work with in my own professional life.
The more beautiful world…
The Beautiful World Our Hearts Know is Possible is a 2013 book by Charles Eisenstein that had a profound effect on me by describing something that I sort of knew in an unspoken, physical/spiritual way but at the same time had not thought about, let alone said. It’s in the tile really – what Charles describes is known to our hearts more than our brains.
Grappling with being green
I first got interested in the environmental movement in the run up to the 1987 election. It was the second time I could vote in a general election and already I had become sceptical about what the mainstream parties were saying. The Green Party in those days were very much a pressure group with electoral ambitions and I didn’t agree with everything they stood for. But in their environmental policies they spoke in a way that resonated with me. In essence, the way we were carrying on as a global human species was unsustainable and no-one was doing anything about it.
My Journey To Here
I joined BT three months before privatisation as a fresh-faced 19-year old who had messed up academically and was in desperate need of structure. Starting out as a telecom officer in Southampton handling customer complaints, I loved the office environment, with the predictable hours and reliable work. There was plenty of personal and professional development opportunities, which I lapped up. Other memories include leading our response to a massive surge in billing complaints, using a PC for the first time and also going on strike for three weeks.
How Still Waters Came About
It was my second night of disturbed sleep. I was facing the turbulence that comes with significant change. After eight years, and at the age of fifty-six, I was being made redundant. A heady cocktail of excitement and shear dread was coursing through my veins denying me the land of nod.
Deep Adaptation And The DA Forum
Deep adaptation, both as a concept and a movement start life in July 2018 with a paper written by Professor Jem Bendell of the University of Cumbria. It’s an academic paper so as a read not for the faint hearted, but I found it relatively accessible. It’s basic idea is that humanity needs to prepare for a possible, or probable, or certain collapse in the face of a changing climate.