Thoughts
Here you will find articles on the five types of service I offer organisations and the people in them. These will hopefully give you a flavour of how I work and what inspires my approach. If you have any questions about these services please contact me.
Filters
- About Still Waters 7
- Accept Change 9
- Coach 7
- Consultant 4
- Dream Big 10
- Facilitator 6
- Help & Advice 5
- Make Small changes 10
- Mentor 3
- Mindset 9
- Personal Stories 11
- Principles 1
- Published Material 7
- Support Large Changes 7
- Teacher 3
- Tools 7
- climate crisis 1
- eco-coaching 1
- ramblings 16
- reflections 39
- resources 17
- reviews 29
- service 1
Honouring My Work
It was with a large dose of curiosity, and a small pinch of trepidation, that I agreed to my friend and colleague Jeremy Keeley’s suggestion that we ‘honour my work’ in a recorded Zoom conversation. Below is the result of this, or you can click here. It was a strange experience, a bit self-indulgent, but I thought I’d share it because it covers a lot of the thinking behind Still Waters.
The Gift Economy
I was introduced to the Gift Economy while on a course in 2015. Brian Smyth, a wonderfully warm human being from Ireland told me how he had deployed it for his work. I was intrigued. Since then I have experienced it in action a few times and love the spirit of it and so have decided to offer it as part of Still Waters. But what exactly is the Gift Economy?
Blood Is Thicker Than Water (1986)
“Obviously your mum can’t love you as much as mine loves me”. A simultaneous slap in the face and punch in the guts. One of my best friends had casually destroyed me. Too angry to think, I blurt out “Why do you say that?” “Because there’s no blood connection he simply replies as though it was the most obvious thing in the world”. Lost in fear and rage I ranted that he was talking bollocks. But the damage had been done.
Nick Mabey - Professional Biography
I joined BT three months before privatisation as a fresh-faced 19-year old who had messed up academically and was in desperate need of structure. Starting out as a telecom officer in Southampton handling customer complaints, I loved the office environment, with the predictable hours and reliable work. There was plenty of personal and professional development opportunities, which I lapped up. Other memories include leading our response to a massive surge in billing complaints, using a PC for the first time and also going on strike for three weeks.
Joining The Green Party
Although it may not seem to have an immediate impact, one of the small changes you might consider is joining the Green Party. You can be a fully paid up member for around £10 per month. Membership means you get access to loads of useful information on the environmental movement (as well as all their other policy areas, such as social justice). You also get the chance to participate locally, vote on policy and people and go to their conference. And psychologically you get to feel like you are part of something that is part of the solution.
Inspiring Company - Sangha
My yoga teacher, Steve Harrison taught me about the six keys to success in the yogic tradition. The sixth of these is the Sanskrit/hindu word ‘sangha’, which he describes as ‘inspiring company’. I find Steve himself to be inspiring company in the wholehearted way he brings himself to teach. All of which got me to think about the people I work with in my own professional life.
Grappling with being green
I first got interested in the environmental movement in the run up to the 1987 election. It was the second time I could vote in a general election and already I had become sceptical about what the mainstream parties were saying. The Green Party in those days were very much a pressure group with electoral ambitions and I didn’t agree with everything they stood for. But in their environmental policies they spoke in a way that resonated with me. In essence, the way we were carrying on as a global human species was unsustainable and no-one was doing anything about it.
My Journey To Here
I joined BT three months before privatisation as a fresh-faced 19-year old who had messed up academically and was in desperate need of structure. Starting out as a telecom officer in Southampton handling customer complaints, I loved the office environment, with the predictable hours and reliable work. There was plenty of personal and professional development opportunities, which I lapped up. Other memories include leading our response to a massive surge in billing complaints, using a PC for the first time and also going on strike for three weeks.
How Still Waters Came About
It was my second night of disturbed sleep. I was facing the turbulence that comes with significant change. After eight years, and at the age of fifty-six, I was being made redundant. A heady cocktail of excitement and shear dread was coursing through my veins denying me the land of nod.
Facing Your Fear
I’ve been facing my fear for about a few years now. Prior to that I had 50 years on the planet not even knowing I head this fear. How can that be possible? Well my coaching supervisor said I had ‘complex defensive structures’. When she said it I was rather pleased because it sounded cool. But then after going through some seriously painful learning it turns out it is not so cool after all.
Wholeheartedness
This happens too often:
I feel tentative, my stomach clenching as I contemplate it. My mind is going ten to the dozen with a toxic mixture of ideas of how to get out of it and images of the many ways it can go wrong and I can look bad. Dread washes over me and, instinctively, without even knowing it, I turn my attention away. To football, internet surfing, games, anything that can anaesthetize me to the prospect I am facing. I am a fraud.
Being On Strike
She already had tears in her eyes as she rose to explain to us what was going to happen next. The day before we had walked out an hour early as a show of solidarity to fellow workers who had been suspended. So now we had to sign a form ensuring we would not do that again. It was Anne’s job to explain this and get us to sign. We already knew we would not sign and so did she. We already knew the consequences of not signing and so did she. And so the puppet show began…
Going Round In Circles
How often do you sit round in a circle at work, particularly without a desk or table in front of you? Has that ever happened? What did you notice?
Drama In Business: Playing With Purpose
Beautiful, creative chaos… 250 people from a consumer electronics company taking part in a radical alternative theatre workshop. I wish I remember it so well because of the impact it had on those who took part. Sadly the truth is that this event is etched in my memory because it of its rarity.
Square Pegs And Sharks’ Teeth
Brian (not his real name) and I hit it off from our very first meeting. He was new into a very large, established organisation, having spent almost all his career in smaller, fast growing businesses and I was asked to help his transition with some coaching. Brian’s boss, who I knew well, was very happy that we built such strong rapport straight away. The HR business partner was delighted that our coaching contract was agreed so quickly. The budget was in place, the schedule and logistics were all sorted. The only tiny problem was that Brian should never have joined the organisation and none of us knew it.
One Thing Can Change Everything
One of the guiding principles in Still Waters is the idea that everything is connected, which comes from on a belief I’ve held for as long as I can remember. In the absence of traditional ‘proof’ for this belief, I’ve found solace in quantum theory and also the writing of Charles Eisenstein.
Waking Up With Hoffman (2016)
I signed up for something called the Hoffman process, having been recommended it by my coaching supervisor as a way of access my “complex defensive structures”. As part of the pre-work, my teacher asked to me hold a possibility gently and with curiosity. Based on her own life experience, as well as what she had learned from teaching the process over many years, my teacher offered me a hypothesis that my first two weeks on this planet were akin to a near-death experience.
The Fairweather Fairytale (1975)
Proud to be adopted!! That was my script growing up. I’d known I was adopted all my life. My parents, who loved me dearly, did a great job in getting me to understand how I had come to be theirs. Their chief weapon was a book, read to me on hard rotation (or so it seemed) throughout my early years.
Wounded At Birth (1964)
A few years ago a teacher told me that being adopted at birth was like a near death experience (link to article 2016). I wrote the following blog in response to that. If it is not completely factual, neither is it a work of fiction. If it was a film, the makers would put a caption up at the start saying “Based on a true story”.