Resources for being adopted
Here you will find articles made up of personal stories, practical advice and reviews of published material. I created this resource in the hope it would help adopted people in search of answers and a feeling of belonging. Please get in touch if you are adopted and need any further support.
Primally Wounded Or Not?
A fellow adoptee, Simon Benn, and I had a conversation recently about the impact Nancy Verrier’s book, Primal Wound, had on us. It was recorded as one of his regular podcasts and I’d though I would share it here.
In Appreciation Of The Primal Wound
About ten years ago my coach at the time (the wonderful Wil Pennycook) tentatively offered me the idea that I have an unhealed wound deep within me. I accepted the suggestion and our work moved on, but it has only been since reading The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier that the significance of that tentative idea became apparent to me.
Adoption Therapy
I came across this book by chance and thought it was worth describing here. It is a collection of 16 essays written by clinical practitioners and their clients on the topic of processing and healing what they describe as ‘post adoption’ issues.
Journey Of The Adopted Self
This book, written by Betty Jean Lifton in 1994, focuses on three stages of the journey that adopted people take in “a quest for wholeness” – the subtitle of the book. It’s an unapologetically American study of the authors own experience of being adopted, along with a large amount of research. Despite its age and non-UK feel I would say it is well worth a read, mostly because what Lifton describes really resonated personally with my own journey.
Private Facebook Groups For Adoptees
On-line groups can provide support, advice and a sense of belonging and community. There are a number of private groups on Facebook the have been set up specifically to cater for the needs of adopted people. Facebook may not be to everyone’s liking but there is no doubting the benefit it can offer in terms of connecting people of similar experience, outlook or interests. Here I review the three groups I am currently a member of.
The Primal Wound
Pretty much everyone I have met has suggested that The Primal Wound by Nancy Newton Verrier is the definitive source of insight for adopted people who are trying to figure out why they feel something isn’t right with themselves. Having read it myself I have to agree.
Waking Up With Hoffman (2016)
I signed up for something called the Hoffman process, having been recommended it by my coaching supervisor as a way of access my “complex defensive structures”. As part of the pre-work, my teacher asked to me hold a possibility gently and with curiosity. Based on her own life experience, as well as what she had learned from teaching the process over many years, my teacher offered me a hypothesis that my first two weeks on this planet were akin to a near-death experience.
The Fairweather Fairytale (1975)
Proud to be adopted!! That was my script growing up. I’d known I was adopted all my life. My parents, who loved me dearly, did a great job in getting me to understand how I had come to be theirs. Their chief weapon was a book, read to me on hard rotation (or so it seemed) throughout my early years.