Resources on Still Waters in general
Here you can find articles on the overall concept of Still Waters and the aspects that should be common, regardless of which service you are interested in.
Above and Below the Line
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms; to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” Viktor Frankl. This quote by Viktor Frankl is the heart and soul of the simplest Challenger tool (link) I was taught; above and below the line.
The Confront Model
I find myself using the confront model more and more in my work. There is much that needs confronting and yet it often feels to me like we are becoming less skilled at the art doing it successfully. Too often conversation leads to difference, which leads to debate and then breakdown; with entrenched views, righteousness and ‘othering’ being the norm. The difficulties we have with confronting situations lead to us become either more aggressive in our position or conflict-avoidant. This is the essence of the confront model.
The Power Of Vulnerability
I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve recommended Brene Brown’s Ted Talk, The Power of Vulnerability. It’s probably something like a hundred. And almost every time I advocate for it I feel the need to watch it again myself first. I tell myself I’m watching to make sure it’s relevant for the person I’m suggesting it too, but actually I think it’s as much for me as them.
The Four Ps
People use the four Ps tool as a way of developing a clearer understanding about their own attitude in any given situation. It is a simple tool to use but one that people seem to find really helpful as a way of codifying and legitimising how they are feeling, and therefore better able to own and describe their mindset. It also helps people notice whether they are getting stuck in a dominating attitude over time, which in turns can cause a personal breakthrough.
The Six Keys To Success
I’ve always been a bit resistant to lists of things. Perhaps as a child I was expressing anti-religious orthodoxy, but why not eleven commandments or six deadly sins? Who gets to decide something so definitive? Or later in life was I just playing devil’s advocate when I wondered what the eighth habit of highly effective people was and questioned how Stephen Covey could be so sure there were only seven? And so I am an unlikely candidate for advocating for six keys to success – but here I am doing just that.
Facing Your Fear
I’ve been facing my fear for about a few years now. Prior to that I had 50 years on the planet not even knowing I head this fear. How can that be possible? Well my coaching supervisor said I had ‘complex defensive structures’. When she said it I was rather pleased because it sounded cool. But then after going through some seriously painful learning it turns out it is not so cool after all.
Letting Go Of Outcomes
Whenever my children used to ask me what I would like for my birthday or Christmas I habitually reply “world peace”. This small exchange became something of a ritual in our household (oh the fun we had!!). I think I made this request for over ten years, and yet there were no signs of world peace on the horizon, or even a move in that general direction. It became clear to me that it may take a little more than a request to my children for this goal to be achieved…
Wholeheartedness
This happens too often:
I feel tentative, my stomach clenching as I contemplate it. My mind is going ten to the dozen with a toxic mixture of ideas of how to get out of it and images of the many ways it can go wrong and I can look bad. Dread washes over me and, instinctively, without even knowing it, I turn my attention away. To football, internet surfing, games, anything that can anaesthetize me to the prospect I am facing. I am a fraud.